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Google Deploys Robotic Middle Finger on Autonomous Vehicles

Tech giant and driver-less car pioneer Google announced that it will be deploying robotic middle fingers on all of its autonomous vehicles.  The deployments will begin in New York, followed by Detroit, Washington D.C.; and then proceed to less hostile driving environments.  The company realized that its current fleet of autonomous vehicles had no way of displaying displeasure or anger when cut-off, tailgated, or for any other rude and generally ass-holey actions.  The middle fingers will have two speed settings.  The "instant" setting will employ a spring mechanism that will rapidly deploy the finger for situations that require quick reaction.  The "slow and steady" setting will feature the driver side window slowly rolling down while the middle finger simultaneously extends out the car towards the offending vehicle.  A camera in the middle finger will record the other driver's reactions, and sophisticated facial recognition software will interpret the reaction and direct the appropriate response, such as multiple rapid middle finger deployments; or automated recordings of insults and curses which can be escalated as appropriate for the situation.

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