Next week, online retail giant Amazon is set to conduct Beta testing of its new CHDS, or Catapult Home Delivery system. The company, which had previously tested drone delivery, said in a statement: "Catapult delivery has the potential to disrupt the delivery business with a new green solution; one that doe snot require expensive to operate and maintain vehicular fleets." Under this system, each warehouse would be equipped with an array of catapults that could launch products to customers within a 50 mile radius. New algorithms have been developed to fine tune the catapult aiming system to accurately deliver products right through a customer's door. Minor adjustments in flight will be accomplished using advanced telemetry and inertial navigation systems on the delivery module. In anticipation of potential damage to household structures, each delivery will be accompanied with a door/window repair kit, which will be made available free to Prime subscribers. When fully deployed, the CHDS is expected to eliminate the need for up to 1 million delivery vehicles and reduce carbon dioxide emissions by 7 billion tons annually. Recognizing that a 50 mile range of the catapult will limit deliveries to customers relatively close to warehouses, Amazon has begun preliminary development of an alternate delivery using 150 mm artillery, which will deliver useless consumer products in lieu of explosive ordnance.
The Instant Pot, a programmable pressure and slow cooker, which has exponentially gained popularity in recent years, has found yet another use. Until now, the Instant Pot was used for cooking an incredible variety of foods, from macaroni and cheese, to tea, to beef wellington. In an announcement that is sure to continue the Instant Pot craze, researchers at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore declared that they successfully created a cure to cancer in the versatile kitchen appliance. The researchers combined all the necessary components into the Instant Pot, including stem cell DNA, chemotherapy drugs, antibiotics; and a spice mix consisting of turmeric, paprika, salt, nutmeg, and cinnamon. Director of Clinical Pathology Dr. Fred Vance explained the process further: "First, use saute mode under low heat to gently cook the mixture until brown. Then pressure cook under high pressure for exactly 17 minutes, and release using QR." For readers unfamiliar...
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