Next week, online retail giant Amazon is set to conduct Beta testing of its new CHDS, or Catapult Home Delivery system. The company, which had previously tested drone delivery, said in a statement: "Catapult delivery has the potential to disrupt the delivery business with a new green solution; one that doe snot require expensive to operate and maintain vehicular fleets." Under this system, each warehouse would be equipped with an array of catapults that could launch products to customers within a 50 mile radius. New algorithms have been developed to fine tune the catapult aiming system to accurately deliver products right through a customer's door. Minor adjustments in flight will be accomplished using advanced telemetry and inertial navigation systems on the delivery module. In anticipation of potential damage to household structures, each delivery will be accompanied with a door/window repair kit, which will be made available free to Prime subscribers. When fully deployed, the CHDS is expected to eliminate the need for up to 1 million delivery vehicles and reduce carbon dioxide emissions by 7 billion tons annually. Recognizing that a 50 mile range of the catapult will limit deliveries to customers relatively close to warehouses, Amazon has begun preliminary development of an alternate delivery using 150 mm artillery, which will deliver useless consumer products in lieu of explosive ordnance.
In an announcement that is sure add speculation to the much anticipated location search for its second headquarters, Amazon has stated that it will pit cities vying for the honor against each other in a Hunger Games style contest. CEO Jeff Bezos will visit each city hoping to become the home of the corporation's new headquarters, and personally choose a contestant to participate in a fight to the death. The winner's city will be bestowed with the blessing of becoming home to the secondary headquarters of the retail giant. Each contestant will be given $100 which they will be able to purchase any supplies or weaponry of their choice prior to the contest, provided that it is available on the companies website. During the Games, the company will dispatch drones to air drop other select Amazon retail merchandise to aid contestants as they progress through the battle. "Amazon is not for the faint hearted," said Bezos, "and the 1st Annual Amazon Games will provid...
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